The Power of Words
Talking in Tongues
Growing up I was always told. “Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.”
We all know that that’s not true. Words can tear a person down just as well as build them up.
Over time I found it easier, if all possible, to just remove myself from those spewing negative words or comments either about themselves or other people.
Sitting around someone complaining about their life problems, aches, pains, issues, or even feelings about someone else, without them even trying to come up with a single solution, can be an emotional drain. And if you stay in their presence too long it can all become contagious if you let it. The longer you’re in their company, you may even find yourself, agreeing or you may start noticing those symptoms within yourself.
To some, negative words can be almost as contagious as a yawn. If you listen to someone long enough, mention an ache or pain in their body, before you know it you’re aching somewhere.
The truth is we all have our own problems that we deal with and to sit around someone who makes their problem your problem can become uncomfortable. Therefore I learned to just remove myself from their presence as fast as possible.
I’ve noticed, those who have a habit of being negative and bad mouthing other people when they’re not around, are just negative bad mouthing people and most likely they do the same thing when I’m not around and probably about me. Therefore I just remove myself.
10 Tips To Help You Deal With Negative People
1. Find out the origin?
Is it since they dislike their task, feel frustrated, feel caught in their life or do they do not have in self esteem so the only means they can feel powerful is by harming others? Some individuals appear to believe that the only method they can get what they really want is to be manipulative. They think this and believe that if they do not grumble and complain that they will not be heard and that its the only means to get what they desire.
Remember that the negative behaviour is a reflection of them. It informs you what type of individual they are and what issues they might be handling. It’s not a reflection of who you are.
2. Smile and remain detached
Whenever the negative lecture starts just smile and don’t say anything. Remain completely detached from it and don’t get involved in it.Leave the room if you can. The negative person is simply seeking to get a reaction from you. That’s what they feed on. Don’t let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy.
It’s the emotions that these negative people stir up in you that you need to learn to distance yourself from. In order to get the full benefit from it, you need to make sure that you’re aware of what’s going on around you. You need to detach yourself from the event while it’s happening and just observe it.
This works well for family members who you don’t really have a choice as to whether they’re in your life or not.
3. Say, “Now tell me something good.”
After they’ve finished telling you some tragic story, say to them, “now tell me a positive story”. Some people have no idea how negative they’ve become. That’s what they’re surrounded by day in and day out so it’s just become a way of life for them. By being given the reminder, they may actually realize that being negative isn’t the kind of person they want to be and may start to work on becoming more positive. Or, they may decide it’s not worth telling you their horror stories because you’ll ask them to think of something positive. Sob sisters (always whining, feel the world is against them, feel they’re victims) will probably not find you very attractive anymore.
4. Is it a sign?
I find that the “universe” uses negative people as the way to get me to move on whenever I’m getting comfortable in a situation that isn’t challenging me anymore. It’s like a sign that I should be focusing more on following my dream rather than just getting caught up in a nice, comfortable routine that isn’t getting me anywhere.
5. Imagine a bright white light surrounding you
Yes, this appears silly however if you can do it, it’s fantastic just how much of a difference it can make. You’ll feel that their negativity can not touch you due to the fact that you now have a force field securing you.
I utilized to have a truly nasty manager who would continuously attempt to make me seem like a moron. When I had a shower in the morning, I would think of that I was being covered with a safety oil so that any of her remarks would simply move right off me. I likewise set up a post it note on my computer system that said, “Oiyli” which meant “Only if you let it”. It advised me that her comments might only hurt me if I let them. If was my choice as to the best ways to respond to her.
6. What does it say about you?
Negative people want to get a reaction out of you and the only way they can is if they hit on one your “buttons” or something that causes intense feelings for you. For example they may bring out past feelings and try to make you feel like you’re being rejected or that you’re not good enough.
If there’s one particular person who drains you the most, ask yourself why is it affecting you? Sometimes, you can learn a lot about yourself by analysing what feelings are brought up within you. Once you figure it out and deal with it then you’ll find that the energy draining person simply has no power over you anymore.
7. Trying to feel needed
Do you get a since of value from listening to their complaints? Does it make you feel needed? If it does, then it’s time to value yourself more and you’ll find that this just won’t happen anymore. Be selective about who and how you help others. Just listening to negative tales over and over helps neither of you.
A good test to see if this is happening is to notice how you feel after “helping” someone. If you feel drained or tired or annoyed or frustrated then all you’ve done is given over your own energy to them. This isn’t beneficial to you at all, and it destroys them as well in the long run.
8. It’s not your fault
You may be feeling that you have to solve the problems of the energy drainer. Let go of trying to fix or help them. They want your energy and so you have to be strong and not give in to them.
A suggestion by for dealing with draining co-workers is to keep mentioning to the person that you have work to do and you can only listen to them for a minute. If after a few minutes, the person is still going on about the same thing then either change the conversation or politely remove yourself from their presence.
It’s important to be able to let go of the idea that you owe everyone a solution. With some people you just have to let them go. They have to take responsibility for their own lives and they won’t if someone is always there to fix everything for them. Let Go! It sounds mean but it definitely doesn’t help them if they end up taking you under with them. In that case, then neither one of you is benefitting.
9. Stay Present and Control the Conversation
Know that this negative person is simply in their mind about things. So as you stay in the moment by observing you can physically see that they reside in their head, in thought not in reality. You can point out something tangible and begin to control the conversation with a question. Once you have their attention on that object, continue to push the conversation in the direction in which you choose.
10. Focus on your own Positive Energy
If your energy can be higher than theirs, then your energy will most likely start to rub off on those around you instead of the other way around. Also, the less you pay attention to them, the less they’ll affect you.
“Stay Present in the moment or simply remove yourself from the Negativity.”
Negative Words Can Produce Negative Thoughts…
It may start with removing yourself, but hearing those negative words or having a negative experience can sometimes linger in the mind… Or you could have the “What’s the Worst Can Happen” mindset. Where you constantly picture the worst case scenario on all aspects of your life to “Not” be disappointed with whatever result you may get. This tactic destroys you in the long run because your focus is not on what you want, but what you don’t want. Which in turn begins to manifest because its where you’re directing you energy. As you watch and listen to the video below… Perform some of Noah Hammond’s tips and do it daily until those thoughts either subside or are eliminated from your mind. This is one of the ways I was able to remove the negativity from my mind and begin to have a clear thought on what I wanted in life… Remember, “You reap, what YOU sow!”
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All This NEGATIVITY Got You Down?
Here’s an awesome positive message before you go just to lift your spirit! Sean Combs talks about what it takes to become a huge success in this world and how you can reach all of your biggest dreams and goals in life.
WORK HARD, STAY HUMBLE!
This has been another post from your friend ClaudefromCleveland…
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